The Angry Therapist Podcast

Turning 53 has John reflecting on what actually matters. In this birthday episode, he shares five revelations shaped by loss, growth, love, and starting over. From losing his house to finding more meaning, joy, and freedom, this is a deeply personal conversation about accepting the truth, living in alignment, and letting life change you. He talks about why growth often feels like loss before it feels like expansion, why love is something we build and practice, and why starting over is not failure but a skill. This episode feels like a check-in with yourself. A reminder that what was true for you before may not be true now. That chasing highs will never give you the kind of life alignment can. That love is less about finding the perfect feeling and more about consistency, repair, and honesty. And that no matter your age, you can begin again. If you’ve been reevaluating your life, grieving an old version of yourself, or wondering whether it’s too late to change course, this episode will meet you there.

In this episode, John Kim sits down with relationship expert and author Amy Chan to talk about dating patterns, childhood wounds, grief, commitment, and what it really takes to build healthy love. Amy shares how the sudden loss of a close friend changed the way she thinks about relationships and why creating core memories with the people you love matters more than convenience. John opens up about how losing his home reshaped his idea of freedom, home, and what truly matters. Together, they explore how childhood neglect, validation-seeking, and old survival strategies continue to shape adult dating patterns. They also break down Amy’s framework for dating smarter, including how to spot where your dating life gets stuck, why apps should not be your only strategy, and how your energy affects connection. They talk about dopamine, fantasy, and why the first three months of dating can be misleading. Later, they unpack commitment, unrealistic expectations, relationship trade-offs, triggers, repair, and emot

Love can feel intoxicating. The chemistry, the obsession, the constant thinking about someone, the emotional highs and lows. But just because love feels intense does not mean it is healthy. In this episode, John Kim explores one of the most important relationship questions you can ask yourself: Is your love acting like a drug, or is it becoming medicine? He breaks down how love can become something you use to regulate your worth, soothe your anxiety, or escape yourself. He also explains how healthy love, while not always comfortable, can become a powerful place for self-awareness, healing, and growth. John unpacks the difference between addictive love and healing love, why intensity is not always intimacy, and how attachment wounds can disguise themselves as chemistry. He also shares what needs to happen for love to shift from something that destabilizes you to something that helps you become more grounded, honest, and self-connected. If you have ever confused passion with pain, chased reassurance, or los

What happens when a city-built life gets interrupted, and something quieter begins to call you in? In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brooks Wilson for a conversation about nature, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, healing, and what it means to move through life with more intention. Brooks shares what it was like growing up in Tamarindo, Costa Rica before major development, how nature shaped her from an early age, and how surfing, yoga, sound healing, and ceremony became part of her path. Together, John and Brooks explore the contrast between fast-paced city living and a slower, more grounded way of being. They talk about presence, eye contact, human connection, gratitude, manifestation, and the healing power of sound, nature, and community. John also opens up about how his move to Costa Rica has been reshaping him after major life upheaval, and why this season feels less like escape and more like medicine. This is a conversation about returning to what matters, learning to listen diffe

In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John responds to listener questions about love, trust, identity, and the emotional patterns that keep us stuck. He explores the difference between real love and limerence, why some people struggle to let love in, and how fear can disguise itself as protection, control, or certainty. He also gets into the tension between equality and fairness in relationships, what it means to outgrow an old identity, and how past betrayal, heartbreak, or attachment wounds can shape the way we connect. From red flags and self-worth to trust after infidelity, this episode is a deep dive into the patterns that quietly run our relationships. If you have ever wondered whether what you are feeling is love, fear, fantasy, or unresolved pain, this conversation will help you look deeper.

How do childhood wounds, past relationships, and old emotional patterns shape your definition of love? In this episode, John Kim explores how relationship residue turns into distorted definitions of love. He breaks down how early experiences, family dynamics, unhealthy conflict, self-sacrifice, and internalized pain can create a damaging love blueprint that follows us into adulthood. John unpacks the unhealthy ways many people define love, including love as self-sacrifice, possession, completion, and dependency. He explains how these distorted beliefs can lead to codependency, control, unrealistic expectations, self-abandonment, and unhealthy relationship patterns. He also shares how heartbreak, expired relationships, and self-awareness can become a corrective love experience that helps you redefine love in a healthier way. Instead of losing yourself in romance, healthy love is built through interdependence, communication, compassion, conflict repair, individuality, and emotional growth. If you’ve

In this episode, John sits down for a layered conversation on erotica, desire, safety, and what it really means to feel alive in your life and relationships. They explore the idea that erotica is not just about sex, but about presence, sensuality, connection, and being fully turned on by your own life instead of moving through it on autopilot. The conversation also unpacks why sex and closeness can feel so different for different people, how safety shapes intimacy, and why desire often changes in long-term relationships. John, Madeleine and Vanessa also talk about self-abandonment, the pressure we put on romantic relationships, the tension between love and freedom, and the importance of living not just from the mind, but from the body and soul too. This episode is about intimacy, embodiment, emotional truth, and learning how to stay connected to yourself while building deeper connection with someone else.

In this episode, John talks with Robin Ducharme about her new book, Real Love Ready, and the deeper work of learning how to love well. They explore grief, forgiveness, childhood patterns, codependency, and the myths about love that keep people stuck. Robin shares how losing her twin brother changed her life and why relational literacy may be one of the most important skills we can develop. If you want healthier relationships with yourself and others, this conversation is for you. Guest Links: Book: https://geni.us/RealLoveReadyBook In Bloom Summit April 10-12, 2026, in Vancouver, BC and Online: www.inbloomsummit.com Real Love Ready Website: www.realloveready.com Real Love Ready Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realloveready/

John explores how many of us are loving from a definition we never consciously chose. From family dynamics to heartbreak and old emotional imprints, he breaks down how our love blueprint gets formed and why it keeps pulling us into familiar patterns. He also shares three practical homework exercises to help you uncover your current definition of love, identify your relationship patterns, and separate real chemistry from emotional familiarity. If you keep ending up in the same relationship with a different face, this episode is for you.

In this episode of Therapy Thursdays, John answers listener questions about love, fear, disconnection, self-worth, and the hard decisions people face when relationships no longer feel clear. He explores whether situationships can actually work, what happens when intimacy disappears in a long-term marriage, and how to tell if you are staying because of love or simply because fear is keeping you stuck. He also unpacks attraction in romantic relationships, what it means to like yourself, how to regulate your nervous system, and how to know whether you are making the right decision in life when everything feels uncertain. This episode is for anyone questioning their relationship, struggling to reconnect, or trying to trust themselves enough to choose what is true.

In this episode, John reflects on what it means to feel complete and asks a powerful question: what in your life feels unfinished? He explores how so many of us chase worth, peace, and wholeness through achievement, validation, or external circumstances, while the real work may be learning how to feel whole from within. This is a conversation about unfinished parts of ourselves, living with more intention, and finding completeness even when life is uncertain or unresolved. If you have been feeling restless, behind, or like something is missing, this episode will give you space to reflect on what truly brings you back to yourself.

In this episode, John explores the link between masculinity, exercise, and self-worth, and how many men learn to chase confidence through strength, discipline, and physical ability. An unexpected car incident during the golf cart ride sparks a conversation about masculine fear, community, and the importance of men checking and supporting each other in healthy ways. He reflects on heartbreak, competition, and the gym as a path to identity, while also asking the deeper question of whether a man’s worth can ever really come from muscle alone. If you have ever felt insecure, questioned your worth, or wondered why you want to build your body in the first place, this episode is for you. Timestamps: (00:00) Masculine Fear and Insomnia (03:56) Andy Thompson Fitness Origins (18:03) Navy SEAL Dream and Party Fight (19:48) Bladder Rupture Emergency (22:25) CrossFit Origins and Friendship (29:46) Helping Others and Next Chapter Guest Links: Find Andy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/andy86thomps Cont

John breaks down why “2x love” keeps people stuck in the same patterns, while “10x love” asks for a total redesign. He talks about self-respect, raising your standards, releasing old blueprints, and building a relationship that feels aligned instead of familiar. If you’ve been trying to fix love without really changing it, this episode is for you. Timestamps: (00:00) Two X Fixes (00:25) Podcast Intro Abroad (01:11) The 10X Idea (02:59) Two X Love Traps (04:24) Designing 10X Love (05:41) Why 10X Feels Easier (06:24) The Fear of Letting Go (08:05) Rethinking The Blueprint (11:09) Build A New Container (13:53) Truth Talks And Wrap Up Book mentioned: 10x Is Easier than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More by Doing Less https://tinyurl.com/yrb6bn6j

In this episode, John sits down with Kiran K Aulakh, acupuncturist and craniosacral practitioner, for a conversation about healing, sensitivity, and what it means to reconnect with the body. Kiran shares how jaw pain, anxiety, and restricted self-expression first led her inward, and how that journey eventually became a calling toward acupuncture and the healing arts. Together, she and John explore what acupuncture actually does, how Eastern and Western frameworks can both help explain it, and why the body often knows long before the mind catches up. This conversation moves beyond needles and technique into something deeper: intuition, receptivity, nervous system regulation, and the practice of letting the body guide your life. If you have ever felt disconnected from yourself, unsure how to trust your body, or curious about acupuncture as more than just pain relief, this episode is for you. Timestamps: (00:00) The body as vessel, vehicle, and altar (02:12) John’s history with acupuncture (04:08) How Kir

In this episode, John answers listener questions about attachment wounds, commitment issues, trauma bonds, intrusive thoughts, divorce, and the painful question so many people wrestle with: is this relationship worth fighting for, or is it time to let go? He explores what actually kills relationships, why healthy love can sometimes feel unfamiliar, how to begin healing avoidant patterns, and what it means to choose yourself when your whole life is about to change. This is an honest conversation about love, fear, grief, boundaries, and the courage it takes to face hard truths. If you are stuck between holding on and walking away, this episode is for you.

In this episode, John unpacks relationship truths no one really prepares you for. From missing who you were in a relationship, to being healing and still drawn to old patterns, this conversation explores what love, compatibility, and growth actually look like. He also breaks down why real compatibility is about more than shared interests, how nervous systems shape relationships, and why steady love may be healthier than the kind that feels electric. A grounded episode on heartbreak, healing, patterns, and choosing differently.

What if ADHD isn’t just about focus… but about a nervous system stuck in survival mode? Therapist Jennifer Free explains why many ADHD brains are living in chronic fight-or-flight—and why productivity tools like planners and to-do lists often fail. In this episode, Jennifer shares how her own late ADHD diagnosis in graduate school led her to rethink everything she was taught about ADHD treatment. Instead of adding more systems and strategies, she began focusing on nervous system regulation. When the body is dysregulated, executive functioning drops, urgency increases, and people get stuck in a familiar ADHD pattern: on → crash → repeat. Jennifer introduces the concept of “alignment with reality” — learning to match your internal state to what’s actually happening instead of fighting reality with thoughts like “I’m behind” or “there’s not enough time.” We also explore ADHD in women and motherhood, the cultural pressure to constantly produce, and how productivity for productivity’s sake can disconnect us f

In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe. I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact. I also talk about asking my current partner to tell me how I’ve made her feel unsafe over the past eight years. I held her, promised not to defend myself, and listened. And I cried. This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership. If you’re a man listening, the question isn’t “Am I a good guy?”It’s: Where have I been unsafe — and what would it mean to do better?

Most of us were never taught how to communicate in relationships. So we react. We defend. We assume. We build resentment. In this solo episode, John reframes “communication” as something deeper: intimacy, attunement, and repair. Because it’s not the conflict that destroys relationships — it’s the lack of repair. John breaks down how to “fight without fighting,” including: • Trying to understand before trying to be understood • Naming your activation instead of attacking • Taking ownership to create repair • Setting intentional time to practice connection • Using I statements and watching tone • Using touch and body language to soften conflict • Listening while considering your partner’s story Healthy intimacy isn’t chemistry. It’s skill. And every conflict is a chance to break a pattern — or repeat one.

In this episode, I answer your questions about breakups, expired relationships, and finding the courage to choose yourself. We talk about how to let go when you’re struggling to accept it’s over, how to know if a relationship is worth saving, and what it really takes to leave. I also break down the real stages of a relationship, advice for your first one, and how to slow yourself down while dating. This one is about self-trust, endings, and learning to stop clinging to what’s already expired. Let’s get into it.