The Angry Therapist Podcast

In this episode of Hard Things to Bring Up in Therapy, we sit down with the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud — the ones about love, loss, sex, shame, attachment, boredom, longing, and the quiet fear that maybe something is wrong with us. From wondering why “healthy love” feels boring after toxicity… to grieving a breakup someone else moved on from too quickly… to asking how often long-term couples should be intimate… to questioning why we attract emotionally unavailable partners… to the messy, human moments around sex, desire, loneliness, and readiness. These are the things we carry alone. This episode sets them down in the open. Why This Episode Matters These aren't just questions — they’re emotional crossroads.Most people bring them into therapy last, if ever.But naming them is the beginning of healing, clarity, and choosing differently. Perfect For You If… You’re in a season of confusion about love or relationships You’re healing from a breakup You’re dating but frustrat

In this module, we explore why healthy love can feel unfamiliar — even uncomfortable — when your nervous system is used to chaos or stress. You’ll learn how your brain adapts to emotional environments, why joy can feel out of reach, and how tiny moments of safety can transform your entire relational world. What you’ll learn: Why calm love can initially feel “flat” How repetition compulsion shows up in attraction The neuroscience behind your default mode network Why joy can feel unsafe — and how to rebuild access to it How tiny daily joys create enormous emotional change The difference between excitement and emotional intensity How to build a relationship that feels grounded, stable, and deeply connected This module is all about expanding your capacity for joy, hope, and relational peace — one small moment at a time. If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available ⁠HERE⁠ Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE

In this module of the video course, we explore why we repeat the same relationship patterns — even when we know they’re not good for us — and how understanding your emotional wiring can shift everything. You’ll learn: Why familiar relationships feel magnetic (even when they hurt) How early belonging shapes adult attraction The difference between healthy excitement and chaos How to navigate triggers with someone instead of alone Why healing happens in relationship, not isolation How to rewire your patterns with compassion instead of shame This episode is a reminder that your patterns aren’t failures — they’re information. And once you understand them, you can create the relationships you’ve always deserved. Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE The Secure Self course is available HERE

In Part Two of this powerful conversation, John Kim and Shaka Senghor go even deeper into healing, alignment, and the spiritual mechanics of change. Shaka opens up about: How alignment shapes everything you attract What manifestation really is — and what it’s not Moving from shame into self-respect How imagination kept him alive in solitary confinement Daily practices that cultivate grace, joy, and hope The mindset shift that frees you from a lifetime of emotional prisons Why abundance begins with noticing the smallest moments This episode is the invitation to your next chapter. A conversation about energy, intention, and the quiet decisions that build a new life.

In this uplifting and deeply human conversation, John Kim sits with bestselling author and speaker Shaka Senghor to explore healing, forgiveness, purpose, and the power of rewriting your story. Shaka shares: What it meant to write a letter to his mother after decades The journey from incarceration to inner transformation How forgiveness liberated him more than anger ever could What manifestation really means: alignment, intention, and showing up How shame, grief, and vulnerability shape our healing Why imagination is a life-saving tool The surprising gift of human connection — even in solitary confinement If you need inspiration, hope, or a reminder that change is possible, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore the questions people are often afraid to ask out loud — the confusing, intimate, and deeply human moments that shape our relationships. From wondering if you’ve ever truly been in love, to navigating sticky boundaries, to deciding whether to stay or leave… we’re going there. We grouped your questions into three core themes to make the conversation grounded, digestible, and honest.

This episode is an excerpt from our video course module on understanding trauma and the nervous system. In it, we break down trauma in a way that finally makes sense. You’ll learn why trauma isn’t about the “big event,” but about unbearable emotional experiences without a relational home — and why your brain responds exactly the way it does. Follow Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald on Instagram HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode brings together members of John Kim’s Single on Purpose coaching team for an unfiltered, deeply human conversation about what happened when the SOP community was suddenly closed. These are therapists, coaches, and facilitators — doing therapy on each other — exploring the activation, the grief, the meaning, and the unexpected wounds that surfaced. You’ll hear them talk about: What SOP meant to them personally and professionally The abrupt ending and why it hit so hard Abandonment wounds, leadership, and rupture-repair The magic of the community they built together Why therapists are human, vulnerable, and messy too What they’re taking with them into the next chapter Whether you were part of SOP, or you’re experiencing your own ending, transition, or rupture — this conversation will land. CONNECT WITH THE COACHES: Sean Cardinalli Instagram: @seancardinalli https://www.instagram.com/seancardinalli/ Medium: https://seancardinalli.medium.com/ Psychology Today: https://www

In this module of the video course, we explore what really happens inside relationships when two people are trying — and struggling — to grow. We talk about emotional language, repair, anger, shutdown, nervous-system responses, and what it means to feel safe with someone for the first time. Whether you’re navigating conflict, trying to understand your partner better, or learning how to show up with more emotional maturity… this episode will help you understand what’s underneath the reactions you keep getting stuck in. LINKS:

In this raw, unfiltered reflection, John shares the real story behind going rogue as a therapist — from coffee-shop sessions to walk-and-talks, to breaking every rule therapy school ever taught him. He explores the lifelong pattern of exchanging truth for membership, the fear of being seen, and the moment one client validated everything he was terrified to try. This episode dives into authenticity, boundaries, regret, responsibility, and what it really means to help people while staying human yourself. Key Themes & Takeaways: Why authenticity often feels like rebellion The moment validation becomes a catalyst The battle between honesty and belonging The emotional cost of doing therapy differently The blurry line between helping and harming The evolving role of therapists in a social media world Why growth is abstract, nonlinear, and deeply personal

In today’s Q&A, we get into the real questions people ask when they’re standing at the edge of a relationship crossroads. When you’re torn between fear and intuition… when the attraction feels off… when you’re trying to communicate your way through a situationship… when you’re healing but also craving connection… when you don’t know if you’re choosing someone, settling for someone, or staying because it feels safer than leaving. These are the moments where the truth gets loud — if you’re willing to listen.

Full Video Course HERE All modules, worksheets, and bonus sessions. This video compiles key moments from the second core module from our relationship course - "How to Fight Without Fighting" You'll learn: Why repair looks completely different for each partner How to ask for (and give) permission to reopen old conversations What to do when you still feel hurt but your partner has “moved on” The moment he realized he was wrong — and how that changed everything Why fights are often bids for connection, not battles How childhood patterns shape how we handle conflict as adults What healthy masculine containment looks like in emotional moments How to rebuild trust after a rupture What apology, accountability, and understanding truly require This episode is about the messy, human, honest side of relationships — and the courage it takes to repair in a way that actually heals.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, John & Vanessa reveal the emotional, financial, and spiritual journey of entering — and surviving — the mental health world. From burnout and red tape to awakening and purpose, this episode exposes the hidden side of the therapist pipeline and why so many helpers feel lost, exhausted, or misled. They share: Their completely different grad-school experiences The “breadcrumb theory” for finding your path Why the therapist licensing system burns people out What no one tells you about the 3,000-hour internship The dangers of the unregulated coaching world How Inner Compass Academy was born A new model for training helpers with soul and depth If you’re curious about becoming a therapist, coach, or spaceholder — or you’ve been through the fire yourself — this episode will hit home.

At 52, John realizes how often we trade our truth for “membership” - relationships, status, the idea of success - and quietly disappear. From a house fire to shaving his head, he reframes love, loss, and identity, arguing that real growth demands new lenses, not old fantasies. What You’ll Learn: Why exchanging your truth for acceptance makes you lukewarm “Corrective love” vs replaying the past’s highlight reel How healthy love both confronts and delights Impermanence as a doorway to gratitude (everything can vanish) Reinvention at any age: new lenses → new life Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up ⁠HERE⁠

Rapid-fire answers to your biggest honesty hurdles: settling vs. standards, dating vs. marriage mindset, online dating that respects your time, inviting more sex without pressure, and handling rejection like a grown-up. Short, practical, and therapist-backed. Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up ⁠HERE⁠

In this part 3 of our Attachment series, therapist Rebecca Prolman joins John Kim to unpack how childhood misattunement wires shame, why anger isn’t the enemy, and how “emotional completion” helps you reclaim the parts you exiled to survive. They explore corrective relationships (why real safety can feel scary), co-regulation for kids, and practical steps to move from fawning to sovereignty. Key topics & takeaways: Shame as a survival strategy that blocks primary emotions (grief/anger) Emotional completion: feeling what shame protected so it can release Co-regulation vs. punishment/time-outs for children’s anger Corrective relationships: safety, grief, and why “boring” can be secure Depth sustains attraction; chemistry alone burns out Naming early ruptures without making caregivers “villains” Methods mentioned: NARM — Neuro-Affective Relational Model (Dr. Laurence Heller ). Resources (as mentioned by Rebecca): Try Rebecca’s mini course if you’re new to this work; consider the 5-modu

John Kim and Rebecca Prolman unpack how childhood attachment wounds and the shame-based adaptations they create - shape adult relationships. They trace core capacities (connection, attunement, trust, autonomy, love/sexuality) and show how co-regulation and healthy boundaries restore intimacy and desire. Resources mentioned: NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) framework and a 5-module course by Rebecca you can find HERE Part 1 of this series HERE

In Part 1 of this 3-episode series, John Kim and licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman break down attachment trauma in clear, human terms. They unpack emotional neglect, nervous-system dysregulation, the NARM approach (NeuroAffective Relational Model), and why so many of us carry shame that isn’t ours. You’ll learn the core dilemma children face (“stay connected to myself or stay safe in the bond?”), how that shapes adult relationships, and why agency + self-compassion are non-negotiables for healing. What you’ll learn: Attachment trauma vs “big-T” trauma Emotional neglect and why it’s so slippery to see The core dilemma and how shame gets internalized NARM, survival strategies, and nervous-system regulation Why we numb (food, sex, alcohol, scrolling) Agency: choosing with awareness instead of self-shame

What happens when therapy becomes personal? In this raw and honest conversation, John Kim talks with licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman about her real-life experience of falling for her therapist — and what it taught her about attachment, shame, and healing. Together they explore the taboo topic of client-therapist attraction, transference and counter-transference, and how therapy can mirror our deepest childhood wounds.