Tv Talk Machine

We are joined here by Amber from Canada, continuing our brilliant rush of getting things done in 2009. Our efficiency is off the charts. Although at a later point, someone tells us we're doing too many podcasts and we need to cut back. That didn't hurt our feelings at all. We cover a lot of ground in the two podcasts this week. In addition to Amber, we talk about Hanna from Sweden who -- above and beyond the call of duty -- sent three mugs down to the podcave. One for me, one for Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) and one for Manny/Chocoknobs/Post-production Master (Benny Evangelista). They are fabulous and creative and available to view on our TV Talk Machine Facebook page. When we talk with Amber, I learn who Tim Horton is. I then learn all the things about Canada I don't know, which is everything. Amber lies and says she got through almost a full podcast of ours, which we know is not true. We talk a bit about "Dollhouse" and she appears to be disappointed by it as well. In oth

It's the Chaser Edition! "A podcast about television." But what will you get in it? Um, face punching, Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) brings up some interesting new voices. I ate the rest of Megan's cookies and Manny (Benny Evangelista) is stunned by that news -- since he never got any of them. He's less stunned that "Benny's Corner" has been canceled. (There is, however, a "Save Benny's Corner" campaign on our Facebook page...which we really do love -- the people and the photos, not the "Save Benny's Corner" campaign...Thanks for everyone who has joined as fans. Now start leaving us some questions on the page or starting a dialog...A dialog that doesn't include a campaign to save "Benny's Corner."). This podcast is noteworthy (never thought we'd write that) because we taped it late in the afternoon and we were both tired and punchy and then we got a little loopy and a lot stupid and we ended up very proud of this effort. It's just the right mix of pointless and stupid -- wh

Unfortunately this podcast starts with a certain someone celebrating a certain Super Bowl victory which he rubs in another certain someone's face. We try to offset that -- thanks George D! -- by bringing back some great radio calls from the glory days of Your San Francisco 49ers! Elsewhere: News from television poorly told. Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) unveils a special voice. TV Talk Machine on Facebook continues to blow up (we're now taking questions via the Facebook page). Manny, (Benny Evangelista) who was given an Obamicon labeled "Knobs" by a reader, let's us know his doings as "What's Benny Been Doing?" returns. Not a lot happening there. "Benny's Corner" has been canceled (it's hard to support a spin-off show). He continues his odd fascination with marching bands. Music talk (Vampire Weekend, more Lloyd Cole, Fleet Foxes, Scud Mountain Boys, Pernice Brothers); book talk (A.J. Jacobs' "The Year of Living Biblically"), etc. Also: Australia doesn't like Joe's impersonat

I think we're going to start calling this The Chaser Edition, since the Tuesday edition pretty much takes care of all the news of the week, like TV stuff and music and books and What's Benny Been Doing? etc. We might even be able to call this particular podcast "efficient" and almost "fast-paced." Well, no. Probably not. We kick it off with a letter from Australia. Aussies in the house! (Teacher Tim, the Official TVTM Archivist, will have to correct us on whether this is the first Australian letter/call. For now, we are putting a push pin in the continent. Hello Down Under!). But Richey from Australia (unclear on the area code) takes us to task for calling the Aussies "bullies" as we referenced the Australia/New Zealand fued on "Flight of the Conchords." We can't remember calling them bullies because, let's not kid ourselves, Aussies are like hockey players -- not the kind of people you want to get in a brawl with. This is one of my theories on why fighting after grade school is dangerous. Nature tells us h

I think we say in this TVTM that we have 36 Facebook friends as of Monday's taping. Last Joe checked the TV Talk Machine fan page on Tuesday, it was 54 or something. Apparently it's no longer embarrassing to be our friends. Good news. Elsewhere in the podcast, we make good on our promise to make Manny (Benny Evangelista) a pop culture icon by creating a "What's Benny Been Doing?" segment and boy, is it thrilling. Hey, Balzac returns! Plus: Existential French Woman, a new voice from Question Boy (Chronicle politics and media writer Joe Garofoli). We also discuss "Trust Me" on TNT. I like it. We talk about music -- The Wild Swans and Lloyd Cole from me (hey kids, nostalgia from music critics is fun!) -- Joe adds some West African music and Benny...well, Benny is now into marching bands. Let's discuss. Oh, hey, we talk about books, too. Except that Joe and I didn't read anything. But Benny did. We're not sure he paid for it though. E-mails. Calls. And we got an MP3 from Mars! And it makes Question Boy cry for t

"What has Benny been up to?" We think this might be a great new segment for us. Benny is also on Facebook. Of course I mocked this on Tuesday, but on this day we're just looking to get Benny some love. Also, Benny found out that someone started a TV Talk Machine fan site on Facebook and we had, like, six people who loved us. Of course, we find this painfully funny. Later the number "jumped" to 10. And now it looks like we're going to have to consider defriending some folks. We're too popular now. On the other hand, where's the international Facebook love for the TVTM? It's so sad. Oh, we also might have another segment called "Benny's Corner," set in a bar. Because we do a bit about Benny in our reality series, "Bars." This podcast becomes an homage to Manny in many ways. In any case, here's our second installment of the week. We've got Walton, plus a tiny, bad version of French Walton, we've got Al Gore, AC/DC, we talk a bit about "Big Love," we get a great MP3 from France! No, psych! It's actually a great

New president, new TV Talk Machine podcast. Coincidence? Yes! Just thought we'd ride the inaugural coat-tails there a bit...Not only do we have a new president -- welcome Barack Obama -- we have a new theme song for 2009! It's totally awesome and inspiring! Thanks Jason, you're the best. (And sorry for badgering you and shaming you into doing it...but we love it.) While we're still recovering from Hurricane Sheri, we have quite a few interesting twists this week. First, Question Boy sings. I know that's not news. But it's a newsworthy song. We cover a lot of topics, not all of them quickly. We discuss actual television news ("Battlestar Galactica," "Big Love," "Flight of the Conchords," "Secret Diary of A Call Girl," "United States of Tara" etc.). By the way, Question Boy (Chronicle politics and media writer Joe Garofoli) reveals that Porno Dick is one of his "alters." Later, Manny (Benny Evangelista) reveals that he's been working too hard to really have a life that involves reading or listening to music (t

Question Girl Sheri from the Vale returns for part two, we get an e-mail from South Africa (hello South America, you are on the clock); and Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) continues his unfortunate impersonation of Porno Dick Nixon. Dave from the 707 gives us a professionally constructed MP3 that includes snippets of Colin Murray's "Fighting Talk" -- Dave suggests we could change our name to TVFTM (TV Fighting Talk Machine). But we could never match the coolness and the well-produced hipness of Colin's show. That much should be obvious upon listening. We also get a lot of new area codes this time around, including Andrea from Connecticut who always calls us from the car, and a tricky new area code that Manny (Benny Evangelista) figures out immediately.

Sheri from the Vale, one of our Question Girl "winners," showed up for two podcasts this week. This one really needs to be heard to be believed. As does the next one. Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) got along splendidly with his alleged QG rival. Almost too well, as you'll hear. And he busted out another voice. Which I wish he wouldn't have, because it's skeevy... But I was over-ruled. Manny (Benny Evangelista) forgot his shorty robe and was instead dipped in chocolate. I think that pretty much sets the tone. All told, the two podcast this week are packed with great calls, letters, an MP3 and our first e-mail from South Africa. Another continent for the TVTM empire!

We did our part. We rambled forever. We took calls and read e-mails and did dumb stuff. That's what we do. That's our ART, man. So here it is. With one strange caveat. I think we forgot to do Walton. Seriously.

The holiday songs have been sung, the presents unwrapped (thanks, Santa, for the velveteen shorty robe) and we have said goodbye to 2008 (velveteen shorty robe a HUGE hit at the party). Vacation, holidays, sick days -- all over. Time to work in the new year. So here it is, our very first TVTM podcast of 2009. In a surprising twist, we actually have some TV related content here. Lots of it, actually. And by the time our second TVTM goes up on Thursday (or whenever -- some things never change) we will have effectively bridged the gap between lost letters and forgotten calls of 2008 and the timely reading and playing of same in 2009. In short, we were efficient and productive. Which brings us (us being Yours Truly, Question Boy and Manny) to the root of the issue in this first podcast: Should we make some changes, add some elements, spruce it up a bit? Maybe some regular features, some more technical wizardry, a touch of info? Let us know. We got one caller already who said don't change anything, just make it ap

So, yeah, we were off for about a month. Vacations. Being sick. "Manny being Manny." But we got the Three Wise Men back in the studio (insert uproarious laughter right here) and went to work on bringing the TV Talk Machine podcast back to life for two versions this week. Question Boy (aka Joe Garofoli, Chronicle media writer) and Manny (aka Benny Evangelista, former savior to the Business Departement and "Tech Talk" guru) join me in the studio as we craft a real piece of work. Or piece of something. It's a pre-Christmas, end of 2008, feel-good chat-fest. We answer mail from November. We air calls. We wear Santa shorty robes. We drop the lengthy lead-in trying to explain what we're doing. And, without trying (because we never try) a theme develops: Worldwide Walton. French Walton. Irish Walton. Martinez French Walton. Canadian French Walton. Santa Walton. And yes, we even have a picture of the Big Man for all the people in the world who don't know who Bill Walton is, what he looks like or why we keep doing rea

Yeah, it's late. Whatever. Benny apparently finished his basement work (at the Chronicle, not at Chez Manny), sometime on Sunday, but it's not like I'm home frantically checking for his updates. And yet, here it is, in all of its glory. And yes, it's oozing glory. See the info in Part 1 to give you a pretty good idea of what's going to happen here. Since we're so late in this week's double-dose, we're going to skip a week to try to get back on track. It will allow me to catch up on all the shows I'm now dreadfully and frantically behind on. It will allow Question Boy to do whatever it is he does. And it will allow Benny to toil in the basement for Moreworkus Chan a week longer.

We cold call Daniel in Toronto and make him answer a very hard question. Then we accuse him of flirting with J.J. Abrams. It's very complicated. And very flirty. And we call him on the usurping Amber thing. And we make another hockey reference (That's pretty much the extent of our Canadian understanding, outside of the beer.) Daniel does a fine job. At some point, we answer questions. Mostly accurately. And take calls.

I provide an explanation, nearly two years too late, about what we do and what you're listening to (hey, we're adding lots of new listeners who have no idea what they're getting into or hearing). After that, we get to a string of letters, accusations, suggestiveness, poorly executed singing and random vocal mannerisms (translation: our usual stuff). I then read a letter that suggests I've been flirting with Amber from Canada (aka Ask Amber). Duh. Of course. But the e-mailer wonders what Mrs. Cranky Pants thinks of this. I respond that we flirt with pretty much everyone. And we have, since the very first podcast. I then flirt with Benny. And in giving my elaborate reasoning for ongoing flirting, I reference a Graham Parker song called "Just Like Herman Hesse," where the chorus is, "You chose the spirit/And I chose the flesh/Just like Herman Hesse." Great song. Great, forgotten singer-songwriter. Then a fellow Canadian -- from www.tvaddict.com -- calls out Amber. He wants to be the new go-to question answer per

Calls and letters from around the globe. A song for Joe. Our man in France resurfaces -- and his name is Jerry. And we all totally lose it in the podcave when Joe does his French Walton. Maybe there really was some kind of genius in not telling people outside of America who Bill Walton really was, because not knowing allowed them to do their own versions. A man for all seasons, all countries. But now, none better than French Walton.

Take the TVTM to the polls with you! Help kill the time -- "and any intellectual curiosity you might have." So sayeth Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) who helped bang out this podcast before donning his Election Shorty Robe (with bunting!)and jumping on a plane to cover the election. Good for him. It's handy to remember he's actually a journalist, not just a guy who does really lousy voices on this podcast. (Though, I must say with glowing praise that on the very next podcast -- Thursday -- Joe does Bill Walton in French and I haven't laughed that hard or that long in a really, really long time. Same goes for Manny -- Benny Evangelista -- who, I think, is still laughing.) Not that Thursday's podcast will be better than this one. Because in this very podcast we talk about tattoos, we call Amber in Canada (yes, that Amber -- she really does exist) and one of us in the podcave decides to get an Amber tattoo. At any rate, we do farm out a question to Canada, which either complies with NAFTA or assures that we have fo

First, a few minutes on drinking and throwing up. But then -- after a lovely musical interlude, we have a chat about "Mad Men." Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) is a huge fan of the series and, of course, I am as well. On this very Bastard Machine blog you can find three long and detailed entries that 1) Deconstruct Season 2 up until the finale 2) Deconstruct the finale and 3) discuss 10 mostly relevant questions about the show going forward. Then after that, we dumb it back down. But, we keep it positive. We remain upbeat. In fact, we come up with a new plan to help people enjoy the TVTM on their own terms. It involves us riding in your car. Or going shopping with us. Check it out. After that -- calls, letters. Hey, Barnz, dude -- did you call? Was that you? Elsewhere in the podcast: A sharing of laughs. Some talk about swivel-heads. Not a lot of answers. Also, a zip code instead of an area code. Question Boy also laughs uproariously at a woman who called the wrong number. We also finally have an answer to one

A lonely nation turns its ears to the TVTM and we respond by filling those ears with nothing -- precisely the remedy that will get us through these tough times. After administrative machinations deprived the world of the TVTM, cooler heads have prevailed as international negotiators working around the clock in Geneva and also, simultaneously, in a small, secret space inside the United Nations, have reconciled who will "work the knobs" to end this crisis. That would be Manny, aka Benny Evangelista. Despite overwhelming protests from around the globe that Question Boy (aka Joe Garofoli) be dumped "for someone who can read" or, roughly translated from French newspaper accounts, "someone not so ridiculously insipid," QB has somehow held his job. He also got a golden parachute executive package that was apparently part of the $700 billion bailout package. We are back. We come to you unprepared but feeling positive. And positively giddy. Also positively Waltonish. That said, we recorded two podcasts for this week a

It's not a goodbye. We'll be back. And if for some reason we're not, we'll put up a long, teary-eyed post about it then, and wear shorty robes with black arm bands. Until then, we will not partake in emotion, nostalgia or even anger. We believe in radio without the listeners. We believe in offering almost nothing just as you expect nothing. Our 40+ minutes of new media stupidity will return. And hey, check out the current Macworld where we got a nice mention.