Tv Talk Machine

Yes, this podcast includes more chances to throw Manny (Benny Evangelista) "under the bus." It also contains faux outrage about international incidents. Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) does what he's supposed to do, we guess (isn't it about time for another Question Girl?). Adjustin (Justin Beck) mans the knobs with aplomb for someone who just couldn't care less. And we fortify the podcave against the sounds of reconnaissance units, incoming explosives and rescue dogs.

Oh yes we did. Hell, we've already got a new theme song (thanks, Jason!) that takes out the 2009 and adds AdJustin (Justin Beck, no longer Super Sub but a full-time member) to the titles. And then while Question Boy (Joe Garofoli, Chronicle media and political writer) and Yours Truly laugh ourselves silly over all kinds of things (Xanax, Percocet, Bill Walton, Peter Krause, "show me your two!," fear, wrong names, etc.), we finally come to the moment of sad (and bitter) truth: Benny Evangelista dumped us via e-mail! Oh yes he did! By the way, Benny had no idea we were going to pound the living crap out of him and, much to our continued laughing, he heard it while riding BART to work this morning. Anyway, we had a grand old time on this Tuesday 'cast. "Enjoy." Things get exponentially more silly and pointless on Thursday.

After a week off (well, not off, we were actually doing our other job), the Triumphant Trifecta QB (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) and Super Sub Adjustin the Knobs (Justin Beck) and your Cultural Commissar. truly, are back reading tons of e-mails and a couple of calls. We missed you. Welcome back. And by the way, as we recorded the Thursday 'cast, we got a visit from a surprise guest right in the middle of it. It's pretty special. You can probably guess who. Don't miss it.

We didn't expect him. But we'd heard a rumor he was in the building on his first day back at the Chronicle, post heart attack. Sure enough, in the middle of our 'cast, Beloved Benny Evangelista, the Podfather, showed up, stepped in and shared some time with us. Before he arrived, well, it was hella goofy. Juan Antonio Samaranch had turned into Porno Count. That kind of thing. I had the summer shorty robe on. Harry Caray and a whole bunch of people showed up. But it was Benny who made our podcast and arrived (almost like we planned it, but obviously we could never be that prepared) right when we were about to play an MP3 from a Benny fan. Exceptional timing, Knobs. It was a fun time for your Cultural Commissar and QB (Joe Garofoli) and Benny's Super Sub Producer Adjustin' the Knobs (Justin Beck). It's wonderful to have Mista Evangelista back, but the downside is the paper may be putting him back to work, as in actual work, and he may not have the time to be our producer anymore. Tickets on sale now for the

It starts out like a car careening around a mountain road driven by a cat named Toonces, and it ends, many letters and calls and impersonations later, in a ditch. Just how we like it. We have now scientifically traced the lack of oxygen in the podcave to an increased level of giggling and nonsense in the Thursday installment of the podcast. Oh, The Count. How we love you. By the way, there's a chance we'll only have one, possibly even none of these aural works of art for you enjoyment next week. Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) has family in town and we have no idea if super sub producer Justin Beck even cares about doing another one or two. In this installment, he really has to work the bleep button thanks in large part to Todd in the 212 who wonders over and over again why the word (bleep) gets bleeped while the word (bleep) doesn't get bleeped out? Justin, who we call Jason, explains the reason and then, well, forgets to bleep one of them. Todd, our 100th TVTM Facebook

Amber adds value to an otherwise value-free podcast

And now, Thursday's podcast a day early! That's very unlike us. But with a dearth of calls, we opted for lots of letters and when those ran out we just did a bunch of stupid voices. Now, that's very like us. Included is QB's take on The Count from "Sesame Street," who sounds suscpiciously like like Vladimir Putin. And once you get The Count, you know what follows. See, we give the people what they want, even when it's clear they don't want it. "Enjoy."

It's Tuesday's podcast a day late (and several phone calls short). But hey, our very own Tin Man, Benny Evangelista (aka Manny) checks in with an MP3 and doles out thank yous for all the support he's received. (Not from me, of course, or Question Boy aka Joe Garofoli we've mostly just made fun of him. But we're not hurt by his love for everyone else we think he's milking this heart attack thing for either sympathy from Cougars or enough free time to catalog his marching band music collection on iTunes). And hey, we get to a lot of letters. Some of them were even answered.

Most of you got this last week via iTunes or when super sub Justin put it up on the podcast page at SFGate.com. But when I was partaking in a very busy week, I pulled away from the curb and left this little guy sitting by his lonesome. Ah, cute little Thursday 'cast. Don't worry about it a little therapy goes a long way. Calls, MP3s, letters, inanities. You know the drill.

Oh, heck yes we have calls. And MP3s. We complained about the lack of them, and voila they arrived. Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) details why Benny is out (we think he listened to an entire podcast for the first time, THEN had the heart attack) and the recent appearance of Voice of America in the podcave. Benny, by the way, told super sub producer Justin Beck where the MP3s were hiding. So we air those. Lots of stuff to air. Plus: Dark heart cackles. A child calls no, not the butt call from court and we think the little tyke threatened us. In related youth news, "the kids love Justin's potty mouth." Also, Justin's Corner taps into the slacker market: "I've just quit caring." A letter from Prague! (Cue: Porno Putin.) Taldar calls and uses Wickedmachine to beat us down! Walter from Florida says he's grown "disturbingly fond of Porno Dick" and then stumps us with a question (I know, stunner). Worse, he prefaces the question by saying he probably should have just asked

Justin finds all the messages people left for Benny (better late than never!) and we have a record amount of MP3s.

After acknowledging that producer Benny Evangelista had a heart attack recently but is recovering nicely and should return sometime soon to man the knobs we get back to business at the TVTM. And that business is to give the people nothing. ("And loving it!") We actually do have stuff to talk about. The Voice of America was filming and recording Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) for a story about what journalists are doing in new media areas to enhance their positions. So I guess his being Porno Putin and Bill Walton makes him the poster boy for how NOT to branch out. We have a lot of TV and non-TV news, including how Nickelodeon is trying to get ahead of the New Dora controversy by sending out a statement about how she's "age appropriate" and that she has not, as we've said, grown into a hootchie skank. Taking this one step further (of course) we imagine how "Maisy" grows into a more adult oriented series, where Charlie ends up on "Bars." Later we have a HUGE announcemen

There's a machine that records our voices. We borrowed Justin Beck to turn it on. Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) spoke into one microphone. I spoke into the other. When it was over, this is what happened.

It's uncharacteristic of us to ever turn serious in regard to the TV Talk Machine, but we thought it was time to tell you the good news about some recent bad news. On March 4, our friend, colleague and producer, Benny Evangelista, had a heart attack. He's now out of the hospital and well on his way to recovery, but we thought you should know -- with Benny's blessing -- why he's been absent and could be for a couple of more weeks or until he's feeling good enough to come back to work. By all accounts, Benny got really lucky and caught some breaks (we'll spare you the details, but Benny says that if you're feeling chest pains, even some you might not think are related to a heart attack, take action right away...We think Benny's love of "Scrubs" contributed to him being drawn to a hospital and the early arrival did more than you could ever know). We're happy to report that Benny, aka Manny, aka Chocoknobs, is feeing much better. Enough so that he confirms that all those missing MP3s and such are in a special pla

Here's the promised podcast interview with Mitch Hurwitz and Will Arnett. Hurwitz is the creator of "Arrested Development" and Fox's upcoming animated series "Sit Down, Shut Up" airing in April. Hurwitz also has a plethora of pilots that could be picked up this season including a remake of "Absolutely Fabulous." He has a lot of insight into the creative process and how things get done in the TV industry -- much of it funny after the fact (keep an ear out for his reference to "Dollhouse"). And yes, he talks about the "AD" movie. Fans of the comedic call-back (which "AD" was masterful at) take note: Hurwitz says there are still jokes and references they planted in the series that they want to revisit in the movie. As for Arnett, he was not only in "Arrested Development" but then succeeded in a variety of small roles on the big screen and a brilliant recurring cameo in "30 Rock." He's got a voice role in "Sit Down, Shut Up," plus a holding deal at Fox (possibly for a show that Hurwitz may helm). In the meantime,

Jason provides a new theme song. The man is tireless. "And loving it!" And yes, we have a normal (wait, "normal") assortment of stupidity, nonsense, non-answers, calls, e-mails, MP3s and a four page script for "Bars" sent in by BobMac from the 707, which we read cold (and badly, but at least with some awareness that we're bad, which might be funny). Also: "You've gotta be cruel to be kind." Wickedmachine beats us down and makes us kill a bunch of our bad segments. Precision anger. All told, we're actually pretty pleased with this podcast, even if it was temporarily forgotten. "Enjoy."

Well, on the day we get to post the 100th episode of our TV Talk Machine podcast, we now have to expedite the plans for that party. Given the news regarding The Chronicle today, it would be nice to be around for Ep. 200 -- or Ep. 103, for that matter. So, yes, we're going to hoist some beers (and relatively quickly) to celebrate our 2nd Birthday and 100th episode and maybe for some good luck cheers as we attempt to stay alive in the ever churning world of journalism. But let's stay positive here: We've got a special 100th episode theme from Jason (and even a 101st theme too!), a lot of congratulatory calls and letters, plus Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) brings out a new voice pretty early on. It's a familiar one if you watched the Oscars. Manny (Benny Evangelista) lets us bloat this podcast up because "it's special" and we try to make the most of it. We talk about the Oscars, about going to the 21st Amendment for some brews, a call from Taldar, and best yet, Peter Hartlaub's

Thanks to QB for dreaming up both a Maxwell Smart voice and also Vladimir Putin and Porno Putin. ("I am going to go to Black Sea resort and pick up whores!") Question Boy gets put on the spot immediately and rallies, even if he confuses William Shatner with my David Brinkley. He does come up with Generic Latin Suave Man. (It's a start...). "That's going to need some shower time." Our 99th episode is ripe with stupidity. And we do mean ripe. The onus has fallen on me to do something special for our 100th episode (translation: not bloody likely). We're hoping to do something at the 21st Amendment in San Francisco. Jason has promised a special theme song. But we'd like to caution -- as if you need to be told -- that this may not unfold in a timely manner. Give us a little room to move and scheme and we'll get something done. If all else fails, we'll shelve the 'cast and invite everybody for a mid-day beer. Raise your hand if you can make a mid-day beer! Alright then. Enjoy the podcast. Whoops -- "enjoy."

Well, this is a first: We actually remembered our birthday before it happened. Normally it's a couple of months too late. And in all honesty, Manny (Benny Evangelista) remembered. (Of course, he came upon the anniversary date while preparing to tell us he wouldn't get the second of this week's podcasts up until the weekend...but still....). Happy 2nd Birthday, TVTM! Honestly, we had no idea we'd make it to the second podcast much less our second year. And next Monday is our 100th podcast. The only thing we can garner from all of this is: You people are crazy. And we love your crazy love for us. For two years we've given you essentially nothing but pointless rambling with the occasional snippet of actual TV news tossed in. Oh, sure, we've given the world -- and we do have an international audience -- a taste of Bill Walton. Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) has also given the podcasting world an assortment of badly done impressions. We've sworn a lot. We've worn incredibly inappro

The hardest working people in podcasting are back at it. And we waste little time in getting right at it. What "it" eventually is, we do not know. But we know this much: "It" is not entertaining. Bob sends in a picture of him in his shorty robe and it's very short. "Bob's getting it done" we agree. Except for maybe the white socks. He's our third listener to send in a picture of where he listens to the TVTM, complete with a blown up version of the TVTM logo. Bob also honors -- wait, "honors" -- Yours Truly with a smattering of "Timmay!" impressions from South Park. We've lost track of the TVTM Dreamer, because we thought it was Emily. It's not. How could we lose track of this information? Easy: Manny! (Benny Evangelista) probably lost it. You know, he's getting a leeeetle too big for his own good. The rising tide of "Save Benny's Corner" appears to be waning, thankfully, and this week we were even too busy to visit the "What's Benny Been Up To?" segment, though we're pretty sure the answer was "working, pret