Sex With Emily

When it comes to sex, why was the world set up so that vulva owners are the ones in charge of preventing a pregnancy? That’s the central question of a Twitter thread that went viral in 2018, and on today’s show I’ve got Gabrielle Stanley Blair, the author of that thread – and a forthcoming book, Ejaculate Responsibly – here to talk about it. I’m also joined by anthropologist, author, and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin, to unpack this fascinating topic.  In a post-Roe world, Gabrielle is calling for a wholesale shift in the way we think about pregnancy prevention: namely, by inviting penis owners and their bodies into the conversation. On today’s show, we talk condoms and sexual pleasure, how society pressures vulva owners to become mothers, how to talk to young men about ejaculating responsibly, why MORE sex ed leads to LESS unwanted pregnancies, and why Gabrielle – mother of six and a Mormon – is passionate about arguing that women’s lives matter, and so does their pleasure.  One more thing: Can pre-eja

Anxiety, depression and low self-worth all block our sexual pleasure. But on a more fundamental level, they block us from showing up in the world the way we’d like: as confident, happy, sexy people. That’s why I invited my own therapist, Dr. Anadel Barbour, to talk to us through healing those intrusive thoughts. If you’re ready, your internal work starts today.  On this best-of episode, Dr. Barbour and I discuss EMDR therapy, the four foundations of mindfulness, how to physically move through trauma, healing shame, and how to know if you’re in constant fight or flight. We also touch on sex and pain, and mindfulness in and out of the bedroom. If you’ve ever considered therapy but are on the fence about it, I hope this episode gives you some encouragement – because healing emotional wounds can truly transform your sex life. Show Notes: More Dr Anadel Barbour: Website | Instagram | Twitter  Sex In Sobriety by Dr Anadel Barbour More About EMDR Therapy Overcoming 4 Common Sex Fears Hosted on Acast. See ac

Ah, weddings. So ceremonial. So floral. After two years of postponements and cancellations, IRL weddings are back – but are all those newlyweds talking about their sex life? They probably should be!  Married sex is full of tired, toxic cliches that I’m personally ready to bust. We don’t have to settle for absent or boring sex as we grow old together. So on today’s episode, I’m making the case for writing your sex vows before you walk down the aisle, helping you recreate honeymoon sex if you’ve been married for ages, and giving you a lay of the land culturally-speaking on how we’re thinking about sex and relationships now. Plus, I take your questions: how to navigate bisexuality in a straight marriage, what it means if you find yourself jealous at your friend’s weddings and how to bring back the spark…when the spark was a little dim in the first place.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Tips for French Kissing  The Yes No Maybe List The Pleasure Planner Hinge Bumble Feeld #Open FetLife Skirt Club  Hosted on

What cultural or religious programming do you have around sex? Even if you didn’t grow up in a church, sexual shame is – in so many ways – the air we breathe. But here’s the reality: you didn’t put those thoughts there. Someone else did. And on today’s show with guest Erin Tillman, we’re calling out those judgmental messages, and choosing the sex messaging that actually serves us. The result? A radically more authentic, more liberated sex life. As an inclusive dating coach, Erin is no stranger to shame – and she’s heard it all from her clients. Whether it was that one rude thing a partner said that haunted you for years, or a parent that told you masturbation was dirty, shame love to hide in the shadows…and hold you back in the bedroom. So on today’s show, Erin and I talk about how we healed our own sexual shame, dropped performative sex, and got comfortable with the word “no.” You’ll also learn the difference between “no” and “not yet” when it comes to dating, how to make good choices on dating apps, and how

It’s a good time to expand our definition of sex. At the end of the day, sex is play for adults: it’s where we collaborate with another person, creating a momentary world of pleasure and eroticism with them. But so often, we assume that sex equals penetration, and here’s the problem with that: not everyone orgasms during penetration. Not everyone feels erotic during penetration! So let’s make sex more interesting and exploratory, shall we? On today’s show, I’m talking up all the different types of non-penetrative sex – like mutual masturbation, sensual massage, toys, hand stuff – to help you break out of a conventional sex script, and have sex that’s more tailored to your personality and desires. Because you never have to take penetration off the table entirely…but what would happen if you took it off the table for a little while? (Hint: probably more orgasms.)  Show Notes: Prostate Play 101 Want to Try a Sex Cleanse?  Penis Problems, Solved  Shop with Emily 4 Ways to Close The Orgasm Gap First Date, Fi

How much do you know about your partner’s sexual language? Or your own sexual language? In this best of episode, sex educator, author and licensed therapist Jamye Waxman is here to talk about core erotic blueprints, sexual accelerators and brakes, and the sixth love language: space and freedom.  Jamye and I talk through the communication skills you need to help your sexual connection thrive, because if resentment is the relationship killer…curiosity is the relationship healer. So in this show, you’ll learn how to turn your communication style from critical to curious, as you and your partner learn who you both are as erotic beings.  Show Notes: For More Jamye Waxman: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook The Secrets to Better Sex? Talk About It More About Your Erotic Blueprint Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jenny Mollen is the author of City of Likes, a fictional comedy about mommy influencer culture and the intensity of female friendships – especially when one of them is a narcissist. Are they obsessed with each other? Do they want to have sex with each other? And what do you do when someone’s perfectly-curated facade finally cracks?  Jenny and I met years ago, and I know you’ll love her just as much as I do. Besides being a bestselling author, she’s also an actor, host of the hilarious “Third Wheel with Jenny Mollen” podcast, a mom, and wife to actor Jason Biggs. On this episode, she talks about the personal experiences with social media that inspired her book, why she wants to see a sex therapist, and helps me answer your sex and relationship questions. For example, if you’re in a relationship, is it ok to comment on someone else’s Instagram telling them how attractive they are? Jenny and I give it to you straight.  Show Notes: For More Jenny Mollen: Podcast | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Website Her N

It’s my strong belief that pleasure is the antidote to fear, now and always. But when it comes to sex, we really can be our own worst enemies: what if my new partner sees me naked, and decides to jet? What if I try out some dirty talk, and my partner laughs at me? What if I approach someone cute…and they say ‘no thank you’? Fear can be crippling to our sex drive – but it can also be digested and processed. To do that, we can check the facts, we can remember that most things aren’t personal, and we can talk about our fears out loud. (Meditation helps too!) So on today’s best of episode, I’m talking to you all about YOUR sex fears: period sex, sharing a fetish with a new partner, old traumas, fear that you’ll never get over an ex, and much more to help you live YOUR most free, sexually healthy life. Show Notes: The Secret to Better Sex? Talking About It Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Shaun T is host of the podcast “Trust and Believe,” a world renowned fitness trainer, and a professional dancer. Not to mention a wonderfully sex positive man, but it was a journey – I repeat, a JOURNEY – to get there. On today’s show, Shaun T gives me his genius sex and arousal hacks, how he and his partner keep things interesting after 12 years and two kids, plus…his favorite kink. He also opens up about surviving childhood sexual assault, how he came to understand and accept his sexuality, and the trauma work he did to get to where he is today. Trust me: if you need an instant pick-me-up around your sex, sexuality, or your body, this is *the* conversation for you.  Show Notes: More Shaun T: Podcast | Instagram | Website | Twitter | Youtube What’s Your Arousal Type? These Are the Five Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Despite their reputation as magical, mysterious events, orgasms are way more accessible than most of us realize, once we understand the science behind them. (And OK yeah, I admit – they’re pretty magical.) As everyone’s favorite muscle spasm, the orgasm is a series of contractions from your pelvic floor muscles, which all of us have, and all of us can strengthen. But what else sets you up for orgasmic success? What if you can experience one alone, but not with a partner? What if you can orgasm in your sleep, but not in waking life? And what if you want to experience different kinds of orgasm (like anal) or, want multiples? I say: be greedy with your orgasm and listen to this best of episode, where we answer all these O questions and more.    Show Notes: 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you need to get in the mood for sex? Have a lively conversation? Be touched in a suggestive way? Put on something sexy…or, have your partner get dressed up for you? Today’s episode is all about arousal styles, and today, I’ll be looking at five. The science of sexual arousal is ever-evolving, but on this show I’m looking at some of the most common ways people get turned on (through conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure), helping you ID what your style is, and what behaviors you can do in the moment to get it going. Kind of like love languages, but for sex. I’m also talking about the difference between arousal and desire, and, taking your questions! How to have sex when you’re stressed, anti-depressants numbing out your vulva, and if it’s OK to be more excited for masturbation than partnered sex.  Show Notes: There Are 5 Arousal Styles. Which One Are You? Sex Up Your Love Language Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex w/ Ian Kerner  The Yes No Maybe List You’re Kinkier Than Yo

It’s one of the most common questions I get: how do I initiate sex the right way? Listen: there’s no one “right” way to initiate sex. But I’ll be honest, it might take a little warm up period to get everyone ready and on the same page. That’s because sex is just as much a head game as a body one, so in this episode, we’re helping you calm your nerves before initiation, recover from failed initiations, and walk into each sexual encounter with more confidence. At the end of the day, we all crave intimacy, and we all want to please our partners – and by the end of this episode, I think you’ll feel much more clear on how to arouse your partner.    Show Notes: 6 Ways to Upgrade Your 69 She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean exactly, when someone says they’re a voyeur? A sub? A cuckhold or an exhibitionist? It’s part 2 of our “You’re Kinkier Than You Think” series…and folks, we are getting a kinky education.  On today’s episode, I’m walking you through your sexual fantasies to see where you land on the kink spectrum. I’m talking submission and domination, exhibitionism and voyeurism, even a little humiliation, if that’s your preferred kink flavor. But because kink is play, I’m also giving you some specific ideas for how to explore these fantasies IRL – and, bonus, I’m taking all of your kinky questions.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Kink and BDSM Ideas 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them)  You’re Kinkier Than You Think, Part 1 Coming Together w/ Celeste & Danielle Emily’s Shop Page  How to Dom with Your Text Messages  Kink & Casual Sex Justin Lehmiller The Communication Guide  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What would the world be like if we didn’t have shame about sex? Can you imagine how different your life would be, if you were told that sexual pleasure was healthy? If you were given the memo early on that masturbation was legit self-care, and that sex itself was joyful and good for you, rather than a one-way ticket to STI’s and unwanted pregnancy?   Today’s best-of show is all about being the change we want to see in the world: becoming people who are conversant and comfortable discussing sex, because this is how we evolve people. Plus, I take your calls! Why using toys during sex is the literal best, what the hell a “lube shooter” is, and how to lovingly - persuasively - ask your partner for more oral.  Show Notes: 6 Hottest Masturbation Moves Relax, It’s Just Anal w/ Dr. Hernando Chaves  Seducing The Booty w/ Alicia Sinclair Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you hear the words “BDSM” and “kink,” what comes to mind? Leather? Whips? The truth is, all of us are a little kinky – you may just not have realized it yet. That’s why today’s episode is part 1 of a two-part BDSM and kink education series, where I help demystify this world and give you fun, safe options for exploring. Dungeons optional.  First, we’re defining our terms and getting a grasp on kink and BDSM – including, what the hell “BDSM” actually means. Next, we’re taking a look at core desires to help you identify yours, and talking about the psychology of power and play. Finally, I’m giving you some entry-level ways to bring kink to the bedroom, whether you’re coupled or single…and, answering all of your kinky questions.  Show Notes: 6 Kink Styles (& How to Explore Them) Ask Emily: Kink and BDSM Ideas Coming Together w/ Celeste and Danielle The Yes No Maybe List  5 Easy Steps to Start Exploring The Communication Guide  Kink & Casual w/ Justin Lehmiller 5 BDSM Games to Spice Up Your Sex Life T

Whether it’s erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or a slight penis curve, it’s common to have penis questions – especially when they’re affecting your sex life. But where do you go for answers? You come right here, to this informative convo between me and urologist Dr. Edward Karpman, as well as Jeff Abraham of Promescent.    On this best-of show, we’re talking to you all about penis shockwave therapy, what to do when you can get erect (but aren’t climaxing), what to do when you take ED meds (but aren’t getting hard), and much more. Plus, I take your intimacy questions! How to get out of your head during sex, how to reduce anxiety in the run-up to intercourse, and how to effectively work with your penis as you get older.    Show Notes: Missionary Sex Position - New and Improved For more Dr. Karpman: Website | Instagram For more information about Promescent: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re a parent or caregiver, should you talk to your child about masturbation? Yes. You absolutely should, even if it’s awkward, even if your own parents didn’t talk about it with you. (And let’s be real: they probably didn’t.) But I get it – finding the words can be hard, especially for such a touchy subject. That’s why today’s episode is devoted entirely to giving you tools, scripts and resources to help you. First, I give you the big why: Why should you talk to your children, and teens specifically, about masturbation? I’ll give you several science-backed reasons why it’s wise to do so. Next, we’ll do some masturbation myth-busting, to help alleviate any concerns, on their part or yours, that it’s harmful or unhealthy. Great news: it’s not! And finally, I’ll walk you through how to have this conversation, with specific verbiage you can use to help put yourself and your child at ease. Don’t worry caregivers: I got you, and in this episode I’ll also answer your questions about teens and sex. Should you t

On any given day, how do you talk about sex? Do you bone? Screw? Make love? According to my guest Amanda Montell, author of Wordslut, Cultish, and host of the podcast “Sounds Like a Cult,” the words we use to discuss sex reveals our attitudes about sex as a whole – even shaping the way we show up in the bedroom.    In this fascinating best of episode, Amanda and I talk about sex slang and body part euphemisms, like the fact that we frequently cute-ify female genitals to make them less threatening. But before you go, “oh this is thinky academic stuff,” know this: practically-speaking, your sex life WILL improve as your communication improves. Listen in, as Amanda and I play with language to get the sex we want.  For More Amanda Montell: Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language Sounds Like a Cult Podcast | Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism Website | Instagram | Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How exactly does masturbation help a sexual partnership? Let me count the ways… It’s Part 2 of our Masturbation Pro Tips series, and in today’s episode, we’re talking solo sex in the context of a relationship. I’m addressing some of the most common questions I get on the subject, such as: “if I already have a partner, why masturbate?” and: “if I masturbate in private, is it cheating?” We also discuss whether or not you should tell your partner if you masturbate, and touch briefly on porn addiction: starting with, is it real? Plus, I take your questions! How to set up your own “masturbation zone” when you live with a partner, whether it’s possible to have fantasy-free masturbation sessions, what to do if you can orgasm on your own but not with a partner, and much more.  Show Notes: How to Find the Best Lube for You Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 1) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Missionary gets a bad rap. I’ve seen it called the “comfy sweater” of sex – and can we talk about the name? Not sexy. Almost…anti-sexy. But despite its label, I don’t think that’s why missionary is considered vanilla or boring. It’s simply the default position, the one a lot of us fall into automatically – making it easier for us to tune out, phone it in, and miss out on any potential eroticism.  So on today’s episode, we’re going to make missionary more exploratory, as I address some of your common complaints. Such as: how do we make it more exciting? I’ll tell you all the reasons I love missionary, and give you technique tips to make it more surprising and fun. Next, vulva owners: are you having a hard time reaching orgasm in missionary? Of course you are: it’s not the prime position for clitoral stimulation, so I’ll offer position hacks that make it more pleasurable. Finally, is it possible to be kinky during missionary? Oh yeah: from bondage to dirty talk, we can leverage all that eye contact to turn it i