Impossible Coin

Rocky and Tegan die on the hill that Mario Party is good. A double fake, scam wedding is announced. The team explores the possibilities for an Ohio state slogan and also discusses Ohio state tourist attractions. Brian's fight with UPS draws to a close. Rocky gambles and loves the new Dragon Quest. Telltale continues to garbage despite expiring and big changes at Blizzard. RIP Applesnake.

First of all, I'm not apologizing for this week's thumbnail. I wanted something that conveys the SHEER AWFULNESS of a three dimensional chess of exploitation. As bad it is the thumbnail doesn't begin to capture how crappy every decision made at Telltale Games is. That stuff is so bad we had to call in additional help. We're joined by Big Sach and Joe Spiro. We also tackle important issues like is motivation important in corporate citizenship behaviors and the underwhelming nature of the new Tomb Raider. There may also be wrestling and Tegan screaming but you already knew that fam.

Rocky sets fire to his kitchen. Press F to pay respects. Telltale Games implodes, Tegan and Rocky hash out the PlayStation Classic. Marriages keep falling apart over Fortnite. Tegan seems unimpressed by Lara Croft and there aren't many games out on Steam today.

There is some discussion about whether or not Tegan smokes drugs or just vapes. These wild accusations come about as a result of the Arby's segment from last week. Tegan insists that it is too humid to vape. (Bruh do you even vape?) Doctor Disrespect got shot at. (Please don't shoot at people even if they suck you nitwits.) Brian's copy of SNK HEROINES has been lost due to a series of fun shipping errors and Brian got to go on the most magical tow truck ride of all time. Rocky says some explosive and divisive shit about cultural icon Joey Tribbiani and we start an online petition.

This is normally where our artisanal show notes go but you know what? This week we're holding that L.

Tegan flips out for Nintendo. (Color us surprised.) Major corporations were evil. (Color us surprised.) Fortnite is still hot for the kids today. (Color us surprised.) We need real gun control. (Surprising fucking no one.) This podcast contains farm to table cats, middle-aged FGC surfer dudes, using sex dolls to drive in the HOV lane, 0% wrasslin and a little anime. THIS IS A VIDEO GAME PODCAST.

God damn it Tegan. You are testing us. Find out what ridiculous conclusion Tegan drew about Windjammers. (The thumbnail probably spoiled it.) Fortnite happened again. Seriously, why is there always Fortnite? Amazon Prime members get the short end of the $120 stick and Nintendo uses a UK Nindie showcase to provide scintillating details on games for Switch that are not Smash. Tegan details her Canadian adventure and Brian isn't having this Becky Lynch heel turn.

Guys, I gotta break it to you. This week's video game news is bad. We got lawsuits, legal bottlenecks and police violence. Really. That's the video game news. At Steam is still an unmitigated disaster. Friend of the show Big Sach (aka the d00d wat made our music) stops by and hangs out. We discuss how much Steam sucks, Hearthstone meme decks, the best Persona, Dead Cells and wrestling. A whole lot of wrestling.

Brian details a personal recent travail. The team discusses Real ID minimum standards and the reality of border crossings. Tegan was in the room where it happens. Rocky kills community leaders on loan from other communities. Brian tears Tegan's soul from her body with his hottest take on the Zelda timeline. Also 957 new characters were announced for Smash Ultimate. Enjoy doing battle with Power Gloves in the town from Urban Champion I guess. Steam still sucks and there hypothetical meals in Bombo.

So basically fuck Elon Musk. The crew takes the time to dunk on Elon Musk because of his weird relationship with Atari. And because he sucks. EA is Schroedinger's awful company this week as Rocky and Brian take different sides of the debate on whether they did something intentionally terrible. The NES Classic is really popular and seven-year-old kids have unfettered access to Steam. Grab your Blob Lobber and get ready to Clam Blitz because it is time to talk about Rocky's taste in porno.

The crew discusses chill Bulgarian arrests, the worst enemy in DOTA, and enormously prodigious grapefruit. This is, of course, a videogame podcast. So come on down to Bomba Tacos and Rum in Akron! Try the Jamaican Jerk Tacos before you head out to Taco Towers. Also FORTNITE FORTNITE FORTNITE NINTENDO NINTENDO NINTENDO. Are you happy now SEO robot?

Rocky lets us know what the scoop is with current Mario Tennis Aces meta. The matters octo are discussed, both -ling and -path Traveler. Arcanine cults have sprung up in Oregon and Rocky goes sailing with Captain Morgan. Hey everybody, it must be VIDEO GAMES.

The gang might have some concerns about the volume of weekly Nindies but hope for the best. Rocky gives us the straight scoop on Fortnite. Valve cracks down the faintest sliver of transparency. Overwatch is coming to the network owned by Mickey Mouse and Hearthstone is making moves. Nakamura-sempai notice me!

This one has it all. We talk World Cup, Griffith Observatory wedding action, glorious Vulpixes (Vulpi? I don't know), video game companies caving to terrible GamerGaters, the right to be forgotten, Twitter awfulness, Ken Bone and the impending race war. YOU SHOULD BOYCOTT THE RACE WAR. We also fit in a little hipster wrestling, Fortnite, Sony being awful and the usual garbage raft of trash from Steam.

Rocky is out of action so Tegan and Brian call in the big guns, frequent co-host Joe Spiro! Topics include stuff like secret EA lay-offs, Tencent suing itself, the gameness of Duolingo, where to source 12 ounces of semen, Hammond the Tumblr hamster, Shawn Layden's missing neck and Mario Lopez kissing Santa Claus. This is a video game podcast.

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Look, no matter whether you liked Nintendo's presentation or not you knew this was going to get heated. It had to. This is a podcast and since we don't cover 30-year-old unsolved murders we have to find our drama SOMEWHERE. Resultingly, we explore that loyalty test. Except it's not a loyalty test. IT'S SO CONFUSING. This episode also contains Kingdom Hearts, samurai murder time and brisket nachos.

Holy Crap! It's a second episode of Impossible Coin in the course of a week! It must be E3 week! All the pageantry and splendor of a convention in LA crammed into a bonus podcast. Likely, it's a tired Rocky and Brian talking Bethesda and Devolver but please believe that pageantry and splendor bit. And eat all that cheese.

E3 is here! In reality, if you are the kind of person who listens to this show you likely already followed all the press conferences and ensuing announcements closely but you are hear because you want to hear THESE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEM. And they do! Tegan, Rocky and Brian have feelings about EA, Microsoft and some of the smaller "Pre 3" announcements. Phil Spencer bought everything and 100 February 22nds jump out of a plane. Also, Max Powers is real and he wants to buy beer.

There is a crisp, warm wind blowing and that must mean that the E3 leaks are in full effect. Brian and Rocky try to pick up the broken pieces and sort through Pokemon, Fallout and Assassin' Creed. They also are horrified at what Steam has on offer. Weirdly, Atari and Intellivision seem to exist and Brian watched wrestling. If we had just had more anime this might have been a video gaming podcast.